How Self-Image and Self-Esteem Shape Our Life

Research shows that four in every five people report they have suffered or currently suffer from low or diminished self esteem. Often this is event related. For instance, self esteem can diminish when we are faced with a situation where emotions are heightened. It is said, that by the time we reach the age of three, fifty percent of what we believe about ourselves has been formed, by six it is sixty percent and by nine it is around eighty percent. By the time we reach the age of twelve, up to ninety percent of us have a well developed sense of who we are and what we believe ourselves to be.

Self-esteem: holding a favourable impression of one-self is a basic human need. It's a measure of our self acceptance, and also indispensable to normal and healthy self-development. The experience of being competent to cope with the day to day challenges of life and being worthy of happiness, is a simple measure of our self-esteem, and a basic element in the health of every human being. All of us have the ability to, at any time, recreate and rebuild our self-esteem so that it better serves us.

I think... Our self-image is an automatic and inevitable consequence of what we choose to believe. It is a reflection of our reactions to past events and experiences. However those experiences have not made us the way we are; they have made us believe that's the way we are. Ultimately however we have the power to decide what we will believe about ourselves, and therefore we should not accept self limiting beliefs imposed on us by others. Life has conditioned us to respond to things in certain ways, and our responses have lead to certain choices. Many people are unaware of why they respond to things as they do, and that their choices are automatic. Have you ever examined the beliefs you hold?


I feel... Our self-esteem is all about how we feel; our emotions. Our emotions are triggered by our thoughts and they are the key to personal effectiveness. They prescribe the way we act and react in life however we can change our actions and reactions by changing the way we link our beliefs and emotions.

I act... People with low self-esteem tend to react to events and circumstances. However this inevitably leads to a life of impoverishment and lost opportunity. People with high self-esteem instead choose to respond and strive to create a life of action. Often when faced with a new challenge we can become frozen by fear. Fear is simply a thought, mostly an irrational thought. Therefore, when we examine and identify our self-limiting beliefs and understand the impact they have, we have the opportunity to create new possibilities. Our future life swings on the doors we open and the doors we close every day. 


To live more effectively and to make our way more successfully in this world we should seek to align our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions. One important way we can achieve alignment is to let go of past mistakes. Mistakes are as much a part of life as breathing and I speak as someone who has made more than my share. When we make a mistake we tend to blame ourselves, however another more empowering way to relate to and resolve our mistakes is to acknowledge them, see them as learning opportunities, internalise the lessons they hold and then move on.

The final thought is from Dr. Joe Rubino - "We diminish ourselves when we lose sight of our magnificence and forget that we have special qualities, talents and gifts that would be of benefit to others. Abdicating responsibility for our greatness cheats the world because we short-change our potential to impact others with the special gifts only we can offer. One way to handle this preoccupation with our fears is to focus on worthwhile achievements that are much more significant than our petty concerns. Committing to worthwhile and lofty goal allows us to shift our focus from our concerns and problems and builds our self-image and self-esteem in the process." 

To Your Success,
Lloyd Dobson  :)

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How To Take Responsibility For The Results In Your Life

Taking responsibility is a state of mind. It occurs when we own our decisions and actions, and become pro-active about the things we must do in order to fulfill our dreams. Self-responsibility isn't for the faint a heart, or for those with low self-esteem. It's not for those whose value, and self-worth is conditional, or whose emotions are always in play. Self-responsibility is vital to a fulfilled life. Because when we stop accusing, blaming, and complaining, we then get on with life. We recognize what we must do, and do it. So how can we create this state of mind? Here are some markers to the self-responsible person. They are proactive. They continuously question and learn. They first identify and then live their values. They take deliberate decisions. They initiate action and enthusiastically pursue their goals in life. They bounce back from disappointments. They're aware of their resources, and strengths. They make bold decisions and follow through. They hold themselves accountable, and also allow others to hold them accountable. They are socially responsible. Self-responsibility can be described as the practice of being responsible for the results we want. Not hoping, or demanding that someone else will 'do' something while we sit on the sidelines and observe. It's through self-responsibility that we attain personal power. And if the key issue is being accountable for the results we want. How then do we do that? How do we develop responsibility for our thoughts, our choices, and our actions? The answer lies in a deep seated belief that we can make a difference. That we can always do something, that there is always some action we can take. And that we can trust our powers of mind, emotion, speech, and behaviour to navigate our way through life. It's a state of mind where we trust in ourselves and our ability to figure it out. Knowing we can acquire the necessary knowledge, we can develop whatever skills we require, and we can make life happen. As we develop and commit ourselves to the results we want, then self-responsibility is simple and profound. It's about manifesting all that we are capable of experiencing, becoming, having, feeling, thinking, choosing, giving, and contributing. When our thoughts are healthy, appropriate, and empowering, we then often have peak experiences. And we all have these from time to time. Those who are able to attain this state, step into a situation where they can completely access their full resources. We recognize these people as the experts, the masters of some art, craft, skill, or science. When we relate meaning and performance to this state it reveals a pathway for unleashing our potential. Whenever we act without reflecting on meaning or connecting with our highest calling, the less motivation we will have and the less effective we will be. We are all responsible for living our own life. No one can do this for us. Believing in entitlement, that the world owes you, the government owes you, your family owes you, and playing your life 'small' will sabotage your success. To unleash our potential each of us has to accept, acknowledge, and act on our own inner powers. Only then can we take the initiative to discover our strengths and weaknesses and take action to discover what makes us most fully ourselves. In this we are seeking how we can best express our unique contributions and through that create a successful life, make a significant difference, and leave a meaningful legacy. Here's your critical thinking exercise for this week. Complete this sentence stem and generate at least ten endings. "If I were to take full responsibility for making my dreams and goals come true, I would...." Don't worry about whether the endings you write are positive or negative, that's not the point of the exercise. The point is to increase awareness. It is to download the responses from your non-conscious mind about self-responsibility. Doing this will then allow you to decide which of the responses best serve you. You can simply keep and reflect on the best and discard the rest. To your success! Lloyd Dobson